Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I need water and some morals
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
