well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Randomize
