Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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