Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You're like the curious george of whores
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
