too bad you live with your parents still
I think i peed on brittanys purse
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Randomize
