i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
