i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
