when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
