Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
