I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
organizing the empties. That sober.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
