Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
