Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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