Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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