Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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