Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
