"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
