I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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