you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
