He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
