My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
