Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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