You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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