I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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