they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
