I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
