Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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