Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
