do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
