His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Your cock deserves a montage
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
