Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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