The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
