I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
