There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
