I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
