lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
