im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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