I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
