Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
