So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Randomize
