Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
