Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
