i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
