he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
