Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
His hands were made for my vagina.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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