we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
