So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
