I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
