does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he laminated a picture of his dick.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
