just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Such a big mess for such a small penis
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
