No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
