come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
