is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
