i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I am puke
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
