OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
