I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
